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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven of your Daily, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Spare a thought about the Tykes follower who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered through the school acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

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Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|